Thursday, 24 December 2015

Lippy Dinner

Here's hoping none of my bird-faced friends experience the horror of this happening tomorrow. 

Thank you to those who've stuck with this barmy journey through the sometimes terrifying psyche of the card-makers of the past. 
I genuinely hope you do enjoy a very Happy Christmas and, in the words of that great sage, Crimewatch's Nick Ross "Don't have nightmares!"

Wednesday, 23 December 2015

This Little Piggie...

You'd think a dog would know how to use a lead properly. I like the fact that the trapped cats are trying to protest from their holly-strewn cages. Festive. 

Tuesday, 22 December 2015

Monday, 21 December 2015

A Hearty Welcome

Nothing says 'Hearty Welcome' to me like being mauled violently by a polar bear in an icy wasteland. Happy Christmas, indeed. 

Sunday, 20 December 2015

Boozy Blakey

I'd run too. 
This drunk, threatening snowman also appears to be dressed as a strange foreshadowing of the character Blakey from 'On the Buses'.

Saturday, 19 December 2015

Friday, 18 December 2015

Stocking Surprise!

Our first ever reader submission here, from the lovely Andy Bloor! A real surprise for the kids' stockings this year - an infinite supply of nightmares. Lovely! 

Thursday, 17 December 2015

Pork Sword

Knighting a joint with his terrifying animal friends and haunted bottles. Presumably by the same artist as yesterday's card and inspired similarly. 

Wednesday, 16 December 2015


Clearly the mushroom is employed here as an indicator of the inspiration behind this piece. 

Tuesday, 15 December 2015


Do you like melancholic dogs? Do you like guns? Then boy, are you in for a Happy Christmas! 

Monday, 14 December 2015

Krampus Christmas (again)

Yes, of course, he's back, my favourite of the Christmas freak-show troupe.
Those children must have stayed up past their bedtimes as well as failing to do their homework.

Sunday, 13 December 2015

They all came to grief in a beautiful row...

Fatal ice-skating incidents and a smug poem - the perfect recipe for a 'hearty Christmas' for sure. 

Saturday, 12 December 2015

Pork Stalker

What says 'Christmas Joys' better than a bird-watching / stalking pig?

Friday, 11 December 2015


This snowman is taking this appalling rudeness in a very jolly spirit, I feel. 
Rumoured to be Ridley Scott's favourite card.

Thursday, 10 December 2015

Just what you always wanted...

Normally the prelude to a lot of shouting at the cat-flap, this image instead celebrates the very festive tradition of weasel munching (not a euphemism).

Tuesday, 8 December 2015

Pork Jockeys

I'm not sure what the yellow-headed chap is meant to be here. I mean, that is certainly not the biggest issue I have with this little gem. 

Monday, 7 December 2015

Decapitated Dog

This mournful decapiatated dog's head is surely the perfect sign of affection for all 
those you love at Christmas-time, no? 

Sunday, 6 December 2015

What Would Agatha Christie do?

Watch out for those killer dog-sized wasps this New Year. 
Oh yeah, and be joyous too. 

Saturday, 5 December 2015

Friday, 4 December 2015

Patriarchy in Action

Yeah, laugh it up lads... 
Why not pass on 'loving' Christmas greetings to those that matter in your life with this potent illustration of white male privilege? 

Thursday, 3 December 2015

Totally Baked

Exactly what kind of a greeting involves baking a baby in a pie? 
This kind. 

Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Tater Toff

This fancy spud has put his best hat, kinky boots and a few airs and graces in order to wish you seasonal greetings. Nice to see he has made an effort.

Tuesday, 1 December 2015

If Cats Made Christmas Cards...

Back with a new slew of anti-schmaltz in the form of the most hauntingly inappropriate Christmas greetings of old.

Nothing says 'Joyful Christmas' like a dead robin. Presumably from a range of cards designed for individuals to give those they despise.