Wednesday, 25 December 2013

Yeah, er, Happy Christmas, everyone



I hope your Christmas day doesn't look like this - unless, of course you are a cheeky monkey who is hoping to romance a dog, in which case I hope it looks JUST like this. 

Happy Christmas one and all!

Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Sweet Dreams...


So basically, this is what is going to happen at your house tonight, once you are asleep...
Sweet dreams :)

Monday, 23 December 2013

Sunday, 22 December 2013

Scheming Elves


These elves are scary anyway, with their odd instruments and prancing, but what is most creepy is that seemingly un-related image of a lonely man and his dog, in a kind of crystal ball affair? 
What are you planning, you little red weirdos? 

Saturday, 21 December 2013

Friday, 20 December 2013

Emblem of felicity


"Hurrah, for the jolly Christmas tree
And welcome, yes, thrice welcome he
Who bears this type of mirth and glee
The emblem of felicity"

Aaarggh - my eyes! What is he meant to be? The creepy face, the acrobatic acolytes, the emblem of felicity... nightmare!

Thursday, 19 December 2013

Beard Birching


It is just an angel brushing Santa's beard with some birch twigs. And he's loving it. 
Best Christmas Wishes.

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Christmas Pigs


It's just the Christmas pigs in human clothing popping in to say 'Merry Christmas'... you know, like they do, every year… you know, those crazy Christmas pigs? They just make the season, don't they? 
Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without the pigs dressed in human clothing.

Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Batkids


Errrmm... these children have come (on their bats, for some reason) to wish you all a bright new year. So yeah, hope this, somehow, brings you all good tidings for 2014. Somehow. 



Monday, 16 December 2013

Sunday, 15 December 2013

Santa Sack



Santa seems to be taking it easy this year, choosing to drop huge, child-like dolls down chimneys rather than the faff of going down there himself. 
Who knows why he is in an airship? I can only presume Rudolph and his gang were out on their Christmas 'do'

Saturday, 14 December 2013

Emu, but no Pink Windmill


'An Unwelcome Christmas Greeting' - an apt caption for a card surely no-one would wish to receive.

Friday, 13 December 2013

Santa Snake


This may not be as vintage as the others that appear on here, but it had to feature for its sheer creepiness. So many questions...
Is Santa a snake? 
What is with that child's conical skull? 
Smoking a pipe, around children? 
Is the Santa Snake even a willing participant here? 
It would seem the small girl has captured and harnessed him - although to be fair, she looks a bit guilty about it now...

Thursday, 12 December 2013

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Butterfly Boy


Nothing says 'Tidings of Comfort and Joy' like a poorly dressed infant riding a butterfly. 

Tuesday, 10 December 2013

Krampus


This child is thrilled with her Krampus doll - well who wouldn't want a manacled demon-like creature for Christmas? 
In Alpine countries, Krampus is the dude who sorts out the kids who've been a pain in the arse all year (leaving St. Nick to dole out the goodies to those who've spent less time on the naughty step). He comes in the form a devil-like creature with a birch brush which he whacks cheeky scamps with, before putting them in his sack and carrying them off to hell.
Sweet dreams! 



Monday, 9 December 2013

Cat Slavery


Surely, it will be 'A Jolly Christmas' when you have an enslaved black cat, who can walk on its hind legs, to do your bidding. 
As a pudding enthusiast, I would point out, however, that the pudding seen here, in proportion to the cat depicted, would be tiny. Additionally, all the black cats I've come across simply would not take this kind of nonsense and would be very likely to rip that stupid red bow off in a frenzy, before tearing the pudding to bits in the middle of the living room carpet. Quite right too. Down with cat slavery. 

Sunday, 8 December 2013

Santa's Massive Face

These little girls have it right - we all need to be prepared to fight off the MASSIVE FACED SANTA who has turned up. 

Saturday, 7 December 2013

Holly Wraith


After enough 'Christmas Spirit' presumably everyone will look like this terrifying wraith. 
If you start to see images like this, it will need to be a VERY 'merry' Christmas, just to get through it. 

Friday, 6 December 2013

Santa got scarier...


Are you one of those people fortunate enough to not be a bit scared of Santa Claus (you know, the bearded stranger who comes INTO YOUR BEDROOM, AT NIGHT and creeps about WHILST YOU SLEEP?) 
If so, then now is your chance to experience such terror, as this creepy old man has revealed himself to be a sly-looking child... in A MASK. Shudder. 

Thursday, 5 December 2013

Pointy Faces


These terrifying pointy-faced birds (?) and their horrific offspring are wishing you a Happy Christmas. 

Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Innocent Mirth


'Tis innocent mirth that gives Christmas its worth' apparently. 
This doesn't look so innocent to me - it appears to be some form of punishment. Who could find any mirth in the snow without any shoes on? 
Clearly it is the ASBO candidates who are having the mirth, I suppose. Festive. 

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Knackered Santie


Santa's already knackered and it is only the 3rd December. 
Do not change your Christmas List at this point, folks, this guy is not in the mood, 'kay? 

Monday, 2 December 2013

Sentient Food


What says 'festivity' more than tucking into smiling, hairy Christmas puddings? Mmnnn, just what we all want - sentient food, begging to be eaten.

Sunday, 1 December 2013

Potted Child


On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a truculent child in a, presumably, massive teapot. A Christmas Greeting with Love (and a healthy dose of concern for your mental health).